dominance | ( eudio inbox )

[ he glances over at her, ] How did they do it?

[ he doesn't know what he expects. if it had been as invasive to require her to go to hospital, he has a feeling she would've told him. it might be presumptuous to think it, but bellamy's sure that's what would've happened if it required them to cut her open to somehow give her back the ability to feel and control her own leg. ]

[ he knows he would've been a pain in the ass if that was the case. ]

[ it has to be magic, the one thing bellamy blake just doesn't understand. ]

[She would've been the pain in the ass first, and called him, asked for his presence at the very least. But she's terrified of ever landing under a doctor's scalpel again, with no disrespect meant to the efforts Jackson and Abby made on keeping her alive.

As much as she doesn't understand how magic works, it still ended up being preferable to the memory of that pain.]

Magic.

[ and that's the one thing he doesn't understand. what he does, though, is that her leg's better. she stands on it with confidence, even if she may lack it right now. she reacts whenever his leg bumps into her own. he's certain she'll grow tired of nike jumping on her — and when she grows bigger, she'll be able to feel her sit on her foot instead of being surprised by a large golden retriever taking residence on her toes. bellamy doesn't understand magic, but he understands raven's happiness. ]

[ he leans toward her to run his fingers through the fur on the top of nike's head. she's staring at the wall like she hasn't seen it before, on her hind legs as she remains in raven's lap, quieter than raven may associate her as being. ]

[ he looks to nike, but ends up glancing at raven. ] Did it hurt?

No, they kept their promise. [She lifts her hand from Nike's back, where it had been resting comfortably, and moves it to pet her gently under her chin, her movements idle.]

I wouldn't have known, if I hadn't noticed that suddenly, I could feel every strap of my brace.

[ quietly: ] Good.

[ he watches nike for a moment, lapping up the attention. she wags her tail and shifts against her, paw dropping only to lift it once more. she looks over her shoulder for something, but knowing nike, it could be anything. she doesn't seem rowdy, so he leaves her for now. he shifts against the couch, slumping a little more. he purposefully taps his foot against the side of her own. ]

[ looking up at raven, he smiles, ] I'm happy for you, Raven.

[Saying she's happy too would be an understatement. She's making plans: give him a piggyback at the beach will eventually come up, but until then she wants to take a stroll around it, and swim on her own - or at least float - and run, take a ride of Gruff without lingering hesitations, walk until her heels hurt.

But first, there's something she needs to feel, one detail she doesn't want to commit to memory alone.]

Can you touch it?

[ he looks at her, not expecting that. sometimes bellamy has moments where he looks at his hands and still sees blood on them, even though lovejoy hadn't bled to death. he can feel his pulse sometimes, beating strongly throughout his fingertips to his wrists and up his arm. it's when he becomes stuck in his head that he looks at his hands and doesn't see what they used to be back on the ark. ]

[ he doesn't look at her for too long, though. raven trusts him, and it's that he holds onto now. for a moment, he looks at her legs, wondering how to go about it, but finds that he's always known how to touch her when he stops thinking too hard about it. ]

[ shifting, he lowers his legs from the table. gently: ] You're going to have to move. [ instead of waiting for her, he leans forward, wrapping his arms around her legs to pull them from the table they rest on. he straightens himself the best he can to rest them on his lap. ]

I meant just touch them, you don't have to - oh. [She shuts up, nevermind. She grows quiet instantly, the second her legs end up in his lap, because this time around she feels it, the pressure and the warmth, on both legs. It's like puzzles that finally have all their pieces together, fitting well.

It's like a well assembled engine, ready to purr under expert handling.

She honestly just expected his hand on her knee, like he'd done it weeks ago when she'd regretted not feeling it at all (when she ended up kissing him but she doesn't think about that because it's hard to figure it out now) but he goes beyond the line of duty and she grows quiet.

Unnaturally quiet and blushing, that's one for the ages.]

[ with her legs in his lap, he settles back into the cushions of the couch. it's the only way he can think to touch her. placing his hand on her knee hadn't occurred to him. he remembers how he had touched her on her couch, how she hadn't minded it at all. that's where he goes now, thinking about that night, and it's why he's chosen to pull her legs from where they rest to see her shift on the couch and almost face him. ]

[ his hands remain on her legs, sitting there as a light weight. he's not so sure of what to do, but finds he always does when he stops overthinking things for a moment. once he does, his hand curves more firmly around her leg, as though he's trying to see if the tips of his fingers can touch the heel of his palm with her leg in between. ]

[ bellamy looks over to her, brows raised slightly. softly: ] You okay?

[She's attentive to what his hands are doing, out of habit. Until now, she had to be attentive, because she only could realize she was being touched if she saw it. There, she feels a shiver, her dormant muscles twitching with life, and skin getting covered in goosebumps. She shifts a little, sinks back into the couch, armrest against the middle of her back and a dog in her lap.

Is she okay?

She bites her lip, and looks up. After a second, she nods.] It's a little...overwhelming.

[ he watches her, waiting for her to flinch. he doesn't want to hurt her. not knowing how sensitive her leg may be, he keeps his touch light and on the top of her clothes instead of sliding his fingers along her skin to see whether or not she appreciates that sensation. ]

[ if he was like clarke, interested in medicine, able to understand how the human body works right down to the cellular level, he might already know how she feels, if what he's doing is good or bad when it comes to her regaining the sensation and control of her leg. ]

That's good, right?

It's good. [Both the overwhelming sensations and the touch, they're good. But they put her at a crossroads now, because she doesn't know quite what comes next. Does she leave her legs there, bothering him for a while longer, or does the pull them down?

Trying to figure out the least awkward way to go about this, she remembers the box of candy, and fishes it out of the pocket of her jacket.]

Here, I got these. [She holds it out, open, for him to take one.]

Suck a heart.

[ bellamy doesn't nudge her legs off of his. looking at the packet she proffers him, he smiles and shakes his head. he's seen some of the valentine's day stock in the stores, but he hadn't bothered to buy any of it. keeping one hand around her leg, he leans forward to take a heart out of the packet. ] Thanks.

[ he pops it into his mouth, expression pinching as he gets used to the sweet taste. it's after he chews on it and swallows that he returns his hand to her leg without thinking. tapping his fingers, he looks to her and gestures with a tilt of his head toward her packet of heart candies. ] You a fan of this holiday?

[She upturns the box into her open palm and picks one of the three hearts that fall out, the blue one. It has something written on it, something cheesy, but it's not the point. She's not cheesy.

She shrugs when he asks.] It's a weird concept. If you love someone, fucking let them know every day. [She sifts through the box and finds a purple one that she flicks at him. (smile).]

Seems more like it's the cliché day of the year on which to feel sad for yourself if you're single.

[ he does as the heart says and smiles, picking it up from where it sits on his hip. he looks at it, shakes his head at its suggestion he smile, and presses his lips into a line that's slightly curved upward at the corners before he eats it. ]

[ at least raven's someone who understands how he feels. ]

[ his brows furrow together in thought. ] Are you not allowed to tell people you love them on any other day? [ that just sounds plain stupid to him, and he knows it's not correct, but the entire idea behind the day — he'd never wait a year for twenty-four hours where he was welcomed to tell someone he loved them. it's not words he likes to use lightly, either. ]

[ he taps her leg again. ]

This Saint Valentine's an idiot.

I don't know if it was him who told everyone hey, only buy flowers and chocolates for your partner one day a year. [She shrugs, because the real idiots here are the ones who buy into the crap. Who think that the day is romantic, that it's the only romantic day of the year.

Shit, if she really made an effort, or maybe without any effort at all, she'd make every day romantic for someone she loved. She could. Preferably without being cheesy and dramatic.

She ducks her head at his smile, barely hiding her own resulting grin, and searches inside the box some more. kiss me, nope, can't have that one.]

Of course you're allowed. It's just some people take advantage of today and perform some really cheesy and over the top act. From what I've learnt from movies, anyway.

[She closes the box and tosses it over; it bounces off her leg and makes her smile.] You pick the next.

He's still an idiot.

[ he picks up the box and opens it, looking at the wall ahead of him as he fishes around for a heart. not knowing what to expect, aside from a suggestion like smile, bellamy picks out a heart and turns it over to read the text. ]

[ looking over at raven, he lets his gaze drop to nike, who seems curled up on her, content to sit instead of run about. she looks around, like she's trying to find her next victim, whether it be a dust particle in the air, an invisible enemy, or zelo. ]

Looks like you're already getting this one.

[ he shows her the heart that says HUG ME. ]

[He won't find protest from her there: yes, he's an idiot. Poor Saint Valentine, they don't even know what he's done, but the whole city -- and people from all kinds of world -- seems to think he's worthy of this much pomp.

At the reveal of the heart, and breaks out into a grin, and picks Nike up, her front paws on her shoulder, and gives her a hug, before letting her return to her lap.]

Yeah. But it's not the same, Nike doesn't hug back. [And she's only interesting now, she's sure.

Her head tilts, and she looks at him for a quiet moment, before holding her arms out and beckoning him once.]

Can't eat it if you don't do what it says.

[ nike's a taker, never quite a giver. he finds it difficult to get a ball off her, even the newspaper he steals from the doorstep of one of his neighbours. he thinks to tell raven nike will return the hug when she's ready, always defiant in doing things her own way, but it's not what she wants and it isn't what he ends up wanting to say. ]

[ bellamy looks to nike, who glances at him before she looks toward the table in front of the couch. he leans forward to scoop her out of raven's lap, placing her on her legs for a moment before he leans to the other side, almost tipping over completely, and gently drops nike onto the ground. she walks away to lie beneath the table. ]

Is that the rule? [ he arches his brow, but relaxes it, and has a moment to think it over. he doesn't move her legs in his lap, keeping them there, even though he spares them a glance. if he doesn't move them, he's not going to hurt her — and bellamy's trying something. pushing himself a little instead of letting himself pull away. it's only a small step, one that has him unsure, but he doesn't find himself outright denying her or even suggesting they wait until she's standing instead of sitting half across him. ]

[ following the rules for what someone may perceive to be the first time in his life, he leans forward to do as she beckons. ]

[She lights up. The loss of a warm ball of fur on her lap might make her sad any other moment, but she is quick to realize that her devious jokes worked. Not that she wants to manipulate him into getting a hug out of it, but it's the whole fact that she can.

To think that about seven months ago she didn't know if it was okay to touch him, if that was welcomed, given the state he arrived in. They've made progress in leaps and bounds, and she knows why - it's honesty. And the fact that he, like her, doesn't back down from a challenge, even if it's a pain in the ass.

She's smiling triumphantly when he shifts closer, and scoots closer herself. Instead of just her calves on his lap, now it's her knees. She's not sitting on it, that would be too much, but she thinks scooting closer will be more comfortable for both parties involved, so there she goes, inch after inch until her butt touches the side of his thigh.

Close enough.] That's the rule.

[Because she can, because this isn't another one of those unattainable things, she leans in and wraps her arms around him, chin on his shoulder.]

[ it sounds stupid to him when he thinks about it, but bellamy doesn't know how to act around anyone else who isn't octavia. keeping people at a distance is easy. it's the way he'd coped on the ark, keeping his sister safe, his mother in a less anxious and snappy mess if he had less friends who wanted to walk him home. he's begun to learn through the delinquents how to be kind to people who aren't his sister, but it's a long and slow lesson that he sometimes fights when learning. ]

[ with her shifting, he stays still, watching her come closer to him until she's comfortable. he hadn't wanted to lean over her, pressing her leg at an awkward angle or see it hanging off the floor if it's to bring her discomfort. ]

[ when her arms are around him, it isn't until he feels her chin on his shoulder that he reciprocates. it isn't with the uncertainty he feels, those walls building themselves back up brick by brick whenever he feels as though he's being vulnerable, as he wraps his arms around her, pressing a hand between her shoulder blades. ]

[ he murmurs, ] Nike's a better hugger.

[He's had a sister for a long enough time that he should know he knows how to hug; hell, she's seen it before, him hugging people back, whether it was Clarke or Octavia, though she remembers that anyone who isn't Octavia is met not with resistance, but with surprise.

There would've been a moment, back home and a long time ago, when she could've joined in, thrown her arms around him and pretended the effort wasn't making her muscles burn. But they'd understood each other with a glance, and then Finn not being there had caught her attention.

She murmurs close to his ear,] She's furrier. [Shrugs gently, not to end up shoving her shoulder against his chin or something of the sort, and sinks into this, eyes closed and heart loud in her chest.] You're alright.

[ being affectionate with anyone who isn't octavia isn't something he's used to. after spending months on the ground with the delinquents, some who are more physically affectionate than others, he still hasn't grown used to it. he puts up his defenses on purpose, to keep himself safe and to abide by mom's rules to never let anyone get too close. it's a lesson he finds difficult to shake after spending the last seventeen years of his life following it. ]

[ he doesn't think he's any good, doesn't quite understand why raven wants to follow some stupid rule and hug him. eudio's a city where people practically use hugging as currency; if she wanted a hug, he knows there's people out there who are better at it than him. he's certain some of the people he's met that she knows wouldn't mind giving her one every now and then. ]

[ hugging someone feels good, though. despite wanting to scoff at those who seem desperate for it in the city, he can't deny that he understands why people seem so hungry for it. it'd calmed him days ago when he'd been upset over the mountain and her leg, and he wonders if that's what this is, if she's trying to stabilise herself now. ]

[ he thinks to ask her how long he has to hug her before he's met the criteria of the rule, but he finds it too callous to his own ears. raven's been through a massive change, and he supposes this is something that might help her readjust to it, even make sure her head's still screwed on straight. ]

[ with his lips curving up slightly, his voice is warm despite being low, ] Your chin's kind of bony.

[She's still touch-starved probably, that's it. She's stabilizing herself - feels everything that brushes her left leg and it's amazing, and she's not going to start tearing up about it again, not her.

But touch, for Raven, is important. Whether it's holding hands or being held to sleep - or her favorite, holding someone till they sleep - it hasn't been something she's held back on, if the person was someone she deemed worthy.

So far, if you consider everything, she can count those people on the fingers of one hand. He'd joined the ranks long ago, but this here feels actually indulgent. Not because there's a thing that needs fixing, but because she wants to and can.

She snorts close to his ear.] Well, you smell like dogs.

I live with them, Raven.

[ he sounds amused, and is. it's better than smelling like death, like blood and dirt and sweat. he feels clean, and he guesses he smells it, too, aside from the supposed dog smell. it's the better alternative to what he's already experienced. it means he's at least lived by not holding anyone at a distance, even if it's a four legged friend. ]

[ pulling back, bellamy lets a hand fall away from her completely and rest on her leg, and the other on the small of her back near her hip. he doesn't think about it. bellamy always pulls back, ensuring there's a distance between him and anyone else. after the mountain, though, he knows his habit is starting to crumble. a part of him wonders if he hadn't stepped away from fox if maybe she would still be alive today. ]

[ his mind doesn't wander there, though. he looks to the side, then down at himself, picking up the heart before he pops it into his mouth before she thinks to steal it from him. he grabs the box from his side and holds it out to raven. ]

Everything about this holiday is stupid.

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