[ he figures nike is asleep. whenever she lies still, she's either dreaming or she's trying to play dead. he hasn't taught her the latter yet, even though he's thinking of trying before she grows any bigger. ]
[ he looks out at the city before him, focusing on nothing in particular, as he isn't so sure how to respond to her. he figures she's messing with him, being her usual self, even though he's wondering if he knows who that person is. he likes to think he does. he doesn't mind raven when she's not busy trying to figure out the best way to blow up a grounder or to keep him alive and in front of the guys inside a mountain. ]
[ he tests it now, to see if she's sleeping like the dead, as raven may lower her voice to be kind to nike, but he doesn't. after waking him up by barking at chion, he's all about payback. dryly: ] I'll be sure to put that on my profile.
[ he tilts his head up, gaze lingering briefly on nike whose paw twitches, before he arches his neck to look at raven. he thinks about not saying it, but her pushing him to cuddle — even if it isn't a push at all, especially after she'd offered herself up to make them even when he's already stated they are — makes him wonder if she thinks he's still set to leave. he figures he owes her the reassurance, even though he doesn't want to act as though he's someone so important to her she'll grow as melancholic as he had been without o in the city. he doesn't drop his voice for nike's sake. ] I'm not leaving until Octavia does. You know that, right?
[She guesses that's the topic of conversation she most dislikes: he's set to leave. Now, or two months from now, or a year from now, he's going to leave. She's going to grow addicted to the peace and the comfort of this city, to the friendships and the lack of people torturing her or hurting her, but he'll hang onto that civic duty of his and follow his sister out no matter when.
It's a horrible thing to have to think about, because of ...reasons.]
Course I know that. [Quietly, her eyes on the sky even if she's aware he's looking at her. She runs her hand gently down Nike's back.] But she's already left once. It doesn't tell me anything.
[ it doesn't tell him anything, either. if he had gone before she had come back, where would they be? he presumes he wouldn't be asked for a third time to return to the city. though they often say the third time's the charm, bellamy doubts he's as lucky. all he wants is o to be safe, but what he hadn't asked the representatives, refusing to specify it, was that he wanted her to be safe with him. ]
[ he looks away. ] Yeah. [ but bellamy knows himself better than most people think. if o was to leave again, he'd ensure he met his end of the bargain to see her safe — completely and utterly safe from the representatives pulling their strings and doing what it is they're meant to be doing to fulfil their ends. ]
I doubt she will, though. [ he may look up at the stars, but he doesn't see them. he's blinded by the hope and optimism he pulls over his eyes on purpose. he doesn't want to think o would leave him, but she's done it before, of her own accord and at his own wish she run, and he knows such a scenario where he's left without her can happen again. ] O likes it here.
[She returns her gaze up at the stars, and wonders if she should point out where Heracles is, dormant in the cosmos. Probably not, if he can't see it. She lets him mull over that thought, lets herself do the same, and keeps looking up. Then, quietly.]
You know, they're not going to kick you out if you don't wanna go. Accidentally, it might happen and they'd offer it again, but if - say you hug enough people to get your deal done... [She lifts her shoulders. Lets him figure that out, too.
She just switches the and she's holding onto Nike with, so the hand closest to his arm is free, and she can pretend she brushes the back of her fingers against his arm on accident, when she brings it down at her sides.]
If Octavia wanted to stay, and you wanted to stay with her, nobody's stop that. [Here she turns her head to glance at him.] Or I might make'em go boom.
[ bellamy can't help but smile as he repeats: ] You'd make them go boom.
[ to him, it sounds too good to be true — hug as many people he's meant to to fulfil his quota and he gets to stay with no pressure to keep on hugging on. the good things people are used to, the things people expect, are opportunities he's never been given. he wonders if he can try and attain the impossible, inspired by those who have tried to resurrect the dead, but bellamy thinks he's only going to strike lucky looking after octavia. it's all he knows — he's good at it, even when he believes otherwise. ]
Nice. [ he says it quietly. he isn't so sure if he should say thank you, even though it's on the tip of his tongue to. it seems as though it'd just make things awkward — or more awkward, as he isn't so oblivious to know he's not looking at her for a reason he's only half-deciphered. he can't help but remember how she had seemed almost deflated at the thought of him leaving, and he feels himself almost sensitive to it, not wanting to be dishonest with her when it comes to his intentions shifting. ]
[ he can't spy heracles in the sky, needing her to point him out. but he finds looking up at the sky is his lion's pelt, letting him hide away even though he's in plain sight. she can't see his expression, and that's all that matters to him right now. he sighs, ] I haven't hugged anyone.
[Yeah, nice. That's her. Secretly, she's nice. She'd be a great friend for anyone to have. Loyal, steadfast, willing to sacrifice everything for the assurance that her friends are safe. Selfish in good measure. Maybe not the most communicative of people, but she's not perfect, is she?
She's nice.
Except for the soft little laugh.] That's just sad, Bell. [Because it is. Even she's hugged (and hugged) some people since getting here. And she's way less charming, and probably has a half as decent ass as his.]
[ he's glad she doesn't ask why. although he doesn't quite know the reason himself, he knows it stems from what's happened back home. between losing people and almost losing himself, bellamy doesn't want to really connect to people. there's always the chance he'll lose them — he thought he was capable of coping with the loss of someone, but he's beginning to wonder if that had just been some temporary fix. ]
[ he shakes his head slightly, eyes rolling. he tilts his head to look at her. ]
[IT's not like she jumped right into it either. It took her two weeks to let anyone touch her, and she's so into being touched, touch-starved her whole life. So she gets it, without the need for explanation. Something happened in the Mountain, like some things have been happening to her as well. As long as Grounders have been involved...and, shit, now there's one in the City. (And the other one she can tolerate.)
She looks down at him, her smile small and benevolent.]
I'm gonna start it off with 'please hug me, I'm a sad person but a nice ass'.
[ he doesn't look anywhere else, keeping his gaze on her. his eyes do move to nike, who stretches her legs out, but otherwise remains asleep, or simply content to lie still on raven. ]
[ he knows him from the first few days of dropping onto earth wouldn't take this in stride. that bellamy didn't have a sense of humour, not when the joke was at his own expense. but now he thinks he's less of a hothead, able to laugh at himself, when he used to be so good at cuddling strangers. he feels like something inside of him has flipped from being comfortable around others, exercising his power over them, to wanting to shy away from them completely. he knows if he looks down at his hands, he'll find the reason there. lovejoy's blood still stains them, and he knows the memory of strangling him until he went limp in his hands will haunt him for the rest of his days. ]
[ he doesn't think about it now. instead, he only grows from being a little melancholic to amused. he lifts his arm to nudge her side with the back of his hand gently. ] You forgot it's endorsed by Raven Reyes. That's the most important part.
[ if truth be told, he doubts raven would give him a glowing recommendation. it's not like he's seeking one, anyway. that night in his tent hadn't been about him, even though he thinks, in hindsight, that'd been the problem. she hadn't come to him for him, and he doubts she even wandered into his tent for herself. it wasn't about being together, not in the way finn and clarke had been. there's no lingering desperation to be together that sits between them. he'd been convenient and she'd been willing — he doubts either of them got much out of it in the end. ]
[ he remains quiet for a moment, looking away from her. he reaches over to run his fingers down nike's back leg, finding she stretches it along with his movements. ] I doubt I'll need it.
[No probably not. It's a good thing he doesn't need one, because if she tries hard to remember what it was like, all she really does remember is that it didn't do what it was meant to do. It didn't cure her heartache or her anger, only made them grow and added regret over being an asshole onto the pile. He may not have minded, but she had; she'd minded that she'd used him so much.
She remembers leaving his tent in a hurry, sweat still clinging to her skin, but if it had been from fantastic sex or from the exercise alone... Well, she'd have remembered the fantastic part of the sex better.
She makes a soft little sound when Nike moves again.]
You keep doing that, she's gonna end up rubbing against my tits, and you can tell Jem she has something in common with her cat.
[ speaking of nike is easier than speaking of them. though bellamy doubts there's even a them — he's been perfectly fine not even acknowledging what had happened between them, but he's found that ever since they've been plucked from their own war, it seeps in. with some of the remarks she gives him, either purposeful or accidental, have been achingly similar to what she had uttered inside of his tent. and he knows he's parroted her, or himself from then, without really meaning to. all his own slips are accidental — as someone who watches his words, he doesn't exactly do a good job around raven. ]
[ he looks at her with an arched brow, pausing for a moment before he even speaks. ] You want me to take her away?
[And leave her hands free? Her impulsive hands, and her impulsive mouth?] No, it's fine.
[Nike might be the goddess of victory, but she has a feeling right now she's the goddess of self-protection. From herself. She makes sure to give her a nice little scratch behind her ears for it.] She's warm.
Did you expect her to feel different? [ he smiles a little at that, as though it's a joke — that the zero g doesn't know living animals are often warm to the touch. but bellamy doesn't reach over to remove nike from where she may not be wanted. instead, he rolls onto his back instead, crossing his arms beneath his head as a pillow. ]
[ he can turn his back on raven and know she won't grab the nearest sharp shard and plunge it into his back. he also knows he can trust her with nike — his dog trusts her, and bellamy's beginning to learn to trust another's instincts, too. it's a work in progress, and perhaps something he'll never really learn when it comes to octavia, but he thinks the effort he's making is good enough. ]
[ he's quiet for a short moment as he peers up at the sky. ]
[ he may not be able to see it fully, but bellamy tries to, nonetheless. if only he could make the trees move, the canopy disappear, so heracles could easily be visible to him. it's almost like the ark, with how he tried to press his nose against the glass and see around it so he could view the stars in their entirety. it's always felt trapping for him, as though he had been made to not linger on craft hovering in space but the ground itself. ]
[ he tilts his head, showing that he's listening to her. nike turns her head and stretches herself slightly, as though she wishes to try and smell his head, but she gives up within seconds of moving, resting her chin on her paw as she looks at nothing in particular. ] I don't think there are any in the stars. [ he rights himself once more, looking up at what he can and can't see. he prefers being on the ground, despite everything — nothing is blocked from him and nothing is unreachable for him any longer. ]
You'd have to consult the expert. [Nevermind that there are times when Grounders look at lot like Vikings, or Hiccup looks a lot like a Grounder and she has to force herself to look away and breathe. Consulting him as an expert isn't traumatic, at least.
(Cute, though, maybe.)
And since her mind's made the connection back to the Grounder currently somewhere in their forest, she turns her head to look at Bellamy.] Is it helping to be up here?
[ bellamy remains quiet for a moment. he remains as he is, looking up at the stars, but his gaze moves elsewhere among the trees. does it help to be up here? no — he's well aware he can't outrun what it is he wishes to avoid. it's a lesson he'd learned before he'd understood what it was mom was trying to teach him — ever since dropping onto the ground, he's realised his legs may carry him far, but his ghosts will always haunt him. ]
[ maybe it's insulting he chooses to play dumb, but bellamy doesn't really want to answer. ] Help with what? [ the stars aren't his companion, not like they are for raven. but the greek heroes have always been — if he'd known heracles could be found in space, maybe he would've been more willing to turn to them like she has. ] She's settled for once.
[Playing obtuse; so no, it doesn't help. It doesn't help her either. If she thinks about it, Grounders coming to Eudio, she knows there'll be no way to run from them up here. The forests are theirs; Anya already staked her claim, and she's down there, somewhere.
But here she thought he'd lie for her.]
Mm. Think she's listening to my heartbeat? [Because that's where her big floppy ear is pressed.]
Yeah. [ he turns his head, reaching up to brush his curved fingers against nike's foot or stomach or even her nose. he accidentally brushes against raven before he finds the softness of his dog. he can feel her shift, as though she's been startled, before she settles once again. ]
[ maybe it's because he's the only person from the ark with a sibling, but bellamy knows the way to calm anyone is to have them settle against you and listen to your heart. it's what mom had told him on the ark, and it's how he'd taken care of o when aurora wasn't around to settle her when she was too riled up. it's the one thing bellamy knows for sure, even though he shouldn't know it at all. ]
[ he touches nike, but leaves his hand above his head, feeling it drop to the blanket beneath them. raven's shirt brushes against his knuckles, but he doesn't pull his hand away as he looks back up at the canopy. ] I guess they like it when you're calm. Or she does, at least. The snowgie's never calm around her.
No offense, but I'm not going to cuddle a snowcone to my chest to see if that calms it. [So maybe she didn't stay all together still. Maybe when his fingers accidentally brushed hers, she tapped them as a hello, casual as you please.
It makes it easier, when he settles down and still has his hand brushing her, to just like it. Accept it.]
I doubt Chion would even let you. [ his eyebrow arches slightly as he wonders if it's possible to even hug a snowball that happens to be alive. he wonders if elsa can, given she's the queen of ice and snow — and he thinks to ask her later, if it's at all possible, even if it sounds slightly dumb to his own ears. eudio is a world where the impossible is possible — he'd never thought himself to ever be in possession of a dog, let alone be confronted almost each and every day with the notion he's not as lonely as he thinks himself to be. ]
[ he doesn't shift his head to look at her, nor does he even remove his hand from where it rests above him. his voice sounds more lively in comparison to his usual unimpressed monotone, ] He smashes all my things and knocks into everything. He rips my books apart — and when he doesn't do that, he leaves bits of snow on the pages, so all the words are smeared.
Well, when you put it like that I'm even less inclined. [She lets out a dry little laugh, and simply scratches Nike's fur where her hand is already resting, holding her small little puppy butt from sliding off her chest.
But, coincidentally, she has two hands.
And, coincidentally, as she looks back up at the sky, she brings her free hand up above her head too, because his stance looks comfortable enough to try it. And if her fingertips brush against his oh so lightly, well. It's the city of intimate contact, right? (And she's starved for it.)]
[ if elsa had told him the snowgie would cause havoc, breaking his things and even irritating him, he still wouldn't think to return the snowball to her. maybe he's a sucker for gifts, or perhaps bellamy is starved for them that he'll take even a rock with a face painted on it and refuse to give it back. the same goes for the dog — nike's out of his comfort zone, but he hasn't once thought of putting her up for adoption so someone who is more capable can handle her. ]
[ bellamy has a lot of love to give, and he's finding his recipients to be an animated snowball and a dog who refuses to leave him. ]
[ he doesn't think too much on her hand brushing his. everything feels incidental. it always has been, even on the ground — if he accidentally walks into clarke or brushes shoulders with raven or even steps closer toward octavia, it's either instinct or him being unbalanced. though this city threatens to do the latter (and has, on several occasions, whether he realises it or not), bellamy finds that when it shoves at him, he always happens to right himself. ]
[ he doesn't move his hand away, keeping his arm stretched above him. the other remains near her side, as though he's ready to catch nike despite him not even watching her. stretching his legs, bellamy thinks himself to appear more like a log than anything else. ]
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[ he looks out at the city before him, focusing on nothing in particular, as he isn't so sure how to respond to her. he figures she's messing with him, being her usual self, even though he's wondering if he knows who that person is. he likes to think he does. he doesn't mind raven when she's not busy trying to figure out the best way to blow up a grounder or to keep him alive and in front of the guys inside a mountain. ]
[ he tests it now, to see if she's sleeping like the dead, as raven may lower her voice to be kind to nike, but he doesn't. after waking him up by barking at chion, he's all about payback. dryly: ] I'll be sure to put that on my profile.
[ he tilts his head up, gaze lingering briefly on nike whose paw twitches, before he arches his neck to look at raven. he thinks about not saying it, but her pushing him to cuddle — even if it isn't a push at all, especially after she'd offered herself up to make them even when he's already stated they are — makes him wonder if she thinks he's still set to leave. he figures he owes her the reassurance, even though he doesn't want to act as though he's someone so important to her she'll grow as melancholic as he had been without o in the city. he doesn't drop his voice for nike's sake. ] I'm not leaving until Octavia does. You know that, right?
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It's a horrible thing to have to think about, because of ...reasons.]
Course I know that. [Quietly, her eyes on the sky even if she's aware he's looking at her. She runs her hand gently down Nike's back.] But she's already left once. It doesn't tell me anything.
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[ he looks away. ] Yeah. [ but bellamy knows himself better than most people think. if o was to leave again, he'd ensure he met his end of the bargain to see her safe — completely and utterly safe from the representatives pulling their strings and doing what it is they're meant to be doing to fulfil their ends. ]
I doubt she will, though. [ he may look up at the stars, but he doesn't see them. he's blinded by the hope and optimism he pulls over his eyes on purpose. he doesn't want to think o would leave him, but she's done it before, of her own accord and at his own wish she run, and he knows such a scenario where he's left without her can happen again. ] O likes it here.
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You know, they're not going to kick you out if you don't wanna go. Accidentally, it might happen and they'd offer it again, but if - say you hug enough people to get your deal done... [She lifts her shoulders. Lets him figure that out, too.
She just switches the and she's holding onto Nike with, so the hand closest to his arm is free, and she can pretend she brushes the back of her fingers against his arm on accident, when she brings it down at her sides.]
If Octavia wanted to stay, and you wanted to stay with her, nobody's stop that. [Here she turns her head to glance at him.] Or I might make'em go boom.
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[ to him, it sounds too good to be true — hug as many people he's meant to to fulfil his quota and he gets to stay with no pressure to keep on hugging on. the good things people are used to, the things people expect, are opportunities he's never been given. he wonders if he can try and attain the impossible, inspired by those who have tried to resurrect the dead, but bellamy thinks he's only going to strike lucky looking after octavia. it's all he knows — he's good at it, even when he believes otherwise. ]
Nice. [ he says it quietly. he isn't so sure if he should say thank you, even though it's on the tip of his tongue to. it seems as though it'd just make things awkward — or more awkward, as he isn't so oblivious to know he's not looking at her for a reason he's only half-deciphered. he can't help but remember how she had seemed almost deflated at the thought of him leaving, and he feels himself almost sensitive to it, not wanting to be dishonest with her when it comes to his intentions shifting. ]
[ he can't spy heracles in the sky, needing her to point him out. but he finds looking up at the sky is his lion's pelt, letting him hide away even though he's in plain sight. she can't see his expression, and that's all that matters to him right now. he sighs, ] I haven't hugged anyone.
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She's nice.
Except for the soft little laugh.] That's just sad, Bell. [Because it is. Even she's hugged (and hugged) some people since getting here. And she's way less charming, and probably has a half as decent ass as his.]
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[ he shakes his head slightly, eyes rolling. he tilts his head to look at her. ]
You going to put that on my profile, too?
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She looks down at him, her smile small and benevolent.]
I'm gonna start it off with 'please hug me, I'm a sad person but a nice ass'.
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[ he knows him from the first few days of dropping onto earth wouldn't take this in stride. that bellamy didn't have a sense of humour, not when the joke was at his own expense. but now he thinks he's less of a hothead, able to laugh at himself, when he used to be so good at cuddling strangers. he feels like something inside of him has flipped from being comfortable around others, exercising his power over them, to wanting to shy away from them completely. he knows if he looks down at his hands, he'll find the reason there. lovejoy's blood still stains them, and he knows the memory of strangling him until he went limp in his hands will haunt him for the rest of his days. ]
[ he doesn't think about it now. instead, he only grows from being a little melancholic to amused. he lifts his arm to nudge her side with the back of his hand gently. ] You forgot it's endorsed by Raven Reyes. That's the most important part.
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Nah, then you'll get used to it and maybe later ask for endorsement about how great you are in bed.
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[ he remains quiet for a moment, looking away from her. he reaches over to run his fingers down nike's back leg, finding she stretches it along with his movements. ] I doubt I'll need it.
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She remembers leaving his tent in a hurry, sweat still clinging to her skin, but if it had been from fantastic sex or from the exercise alone... Well, she'd have remembered the fantastic part of the sex better.
She makes a soft little sound when Nike moves again.]
You keep doing that, she's gonna end up rubbing against my tits, and you can tell Jem she has something in common with her cat.
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[ he looks at her with an arched brow, pausing for a moment before he even speaks. ] You want me to take her away?
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[Nike might be the goddess of victory, but she has a feeling right now she's the goddess of self-protection. From herself. She makes sure to give her a nice little scratch behind her ears for it.] She's warm.
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[ he can turn his back on raven and know she won't grab the nearest sharp shard and plunge it into his back. he also knows he can trust her with nike — his dog trusts her, and bellamy's beginning to learn to trust another's instincts, too. it's a work in progress, and perhaps something he'll never really learn when it comes to octavia, but he thinks the effort he's making is good enough. ]
[ he's quiet for a short moment as he peers up at the sky. ]
Heracles not out tonight?
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I thought you'd get suddenly interested in Vikings, having a real live one around.
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[ he tilts his head, showing that he's listening to her. nike turns her head and stretches herself slightly, as though she wishes to try and smell his head, but she gives up within seconds of moving, resting her chin on her paw as she looks at nothing in particular. ] I don't think there are any in the stars. [ he rights himself once more, looking up at what he can and can't see. he prefers being on the ground, despite everything — nothing is blocked from him and nothing is unreachable for him any longer. ]
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(Cute, though, maybe.)
And since her mind's made the connection back to the Grounder currently somewhere in their forest, she turns her head to look at Bellamy.] Is it helping to be up here?
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[ maybe it's insulting he chooses to play dumb, but bellamy doesn't really want to answer. ] Help with what? [ the stars aren't his companion, not like they are for raven. but the greek heroes have always been — if he'd known heracles could be found in space, maybe he would've been more willing to turn to them like she has. ] She's settled for once.
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But here she thought he'd lie for her.]
Mm. Think she's listening to my heartbeat? [Because that's where her big floppy ear is pressed.]
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[ maybe it's because he's the only person from the ark with a sibling, but bellamy knows the way to calm anyone is to have them settle against you and listen to your heart. it's what mom had told him on the ark, and it's how he'd taken care of o when aurora wasn't around to settle her when she was too riled up. it's the one thing bellamy knows for sure, even though he shouldn't know it at all. ]
[ he touches nike, but leaves his hand above his head, feeling it drop to the blanket beneath them. raven's shirt brushes against his knuckles, but he doesn't pull his hand away as he looks back up at the canopy. ] I guess they like it when you're calm. Or she does, at least. The snowgie's never calm around her.
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It makes it easier, when he settles down and still has his hand brushing her, to just like it. Accept it.]
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[ he doesn't shift his head to look at her, nor does he even remove his hand from where it rests above him. his voice sounds more lively in comparison to his usual unimpressed monotone, ] He smashes all my things and knocks into everything. He rips my books apart — and when he doesn't do that, he leaves bits of snow on the pages, so all the words are smeared.
It's like living with Octavia again.
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But, coincidentally, she has two hands.
And, coincidentally, as she looks back up at the sky, she brings her free hand up above her head too, because his stance looks comfortable enough to try it. And if her fingertips brush against his oh so lightly, well. It's the city of intimate contact, right? (And she's starved for it.)]
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[ bellamy has a lot of love to give, and he's finding his recipients to be an animated snowball and a dog who refuses to leave him. ]
[ he doesn't think too much on her hand brushing his. everything feels incidental. it always has been, even on the ground — if he accidentally walks into clarke or brushes shoulders with raven or even steps closer toward octavia, it's either instinct or him being unbalanced. though this city threatens to do the latter (and has, on several occasions, whether he realises it or not), bellamy finds that when it shoves at him, he always happens to right himself. ]
[ he doesn't move his hand away, keeping his arm stretched above him. the other remains near her side, as though he's ready to catch nike despite him not even watching her. stretching his legs, bellamy thinks himself to appear more like a log than anything else. ]
How long are you expecting to stay out here?
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