[ if it was the two of them in this city with no promise of anyone else to follow, sometimes bellamy thinks he wouldn't be as warm. he knows he wouldn't be — it'd simply be the two of them, trapped in a place that neither can run from. his own resentment and anger has built up, but it doesn't splash over the brim. he feels it, his anger — he hates her and likes her and resents her and pities her — but he thinks the best way to get back at her is to not push her away. if anything, pushing her seems to do the trick, even though bellamy often wants to abandon clarke as she had him. ]
[ with o and raven and murphy in town, it's difficult to be selfish. it's a burden he's chosen to bear, his anger, keeping it quietly hidden away so only he and clarke know it's there. though he hasn't so much as informed her he feels it, something akin to dislike for her for what she had done, he suspects she knows. it's punishment enough, even though bellamy doesn't want to embody the council and dole those out. ]
[ then she goes and does something like this, and he knows what it means — there's no way in hell he wouldn't be able to discern her motive. but he doesn't understand why she hasn't rid herself of this habit if it's distance she wants. the masquerade, letting him come over, even doing this for him — she sends mixed messages, and sometimes he doesn't think it's to try and deter him from pushing back at her. ]
You didn't have to.
I'll pay you back.
[ even though bellamy doubts the way he wants to go about it is something clarke would think to be compensation for her own selflessness. him being up in her space? he knows she would say it's more than what she deserves. ]
[ it's a good thing bellamy doesn't listen to clarke. ]
text;
[ with o and raven and murphy in town, it's difficult to be selfish. it's a burden he's chosen to bear, his anger, keeping it quietly hidden away so only he and clarke know it's there. though he hasn't so much as informed her he feels it, something akin to dislike for her for what she had done, he suspects she knows. it's punishment enough, even though bellamy doesn't want to embody the council and dole those out. ]
[ then she goes and does something like this, and he knows what it means — there's no way in hell he wouldn't be able to discern her motive. but he doesn't understand why she hasn't rid herself of this habit if it's distance she wants. the masquerade, letting him come over, even doing this for him — she sends mixed messages, and sometimes he doesn't think it's to try and deter him from pushing back at her. ]
You didn't have to.
I'll pay you back.
[ even though bellamy doubts the way he wants to go about it is something clarke would think to be compensation for her own selflessness. him being up in her space? he knows she would say it's more than what she deserves. ]
[ it's a good thing bellamy doesn't listen to clarke. ]