( eudio cuddlr )

[dominance]

BELLAMY BLAKE ( 24 ) A leader and hero. An unwaveringly loyal friend and brother. Actually pretty funny. And perpetually shirtless.

✓       ✕

YES / MATCH / TICK
<span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span>


NO / CROSS
<span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

cuddlr changed
14/02/2016 | pic and Not interested, courtesy of Elsa of Arendelle.
11/06/2016 | pic and Swipe right if you want to talk about dogs or Greek mythology! , courtesy of Octavia.

Comments

[dominance]

[ bellamy doesn't remove his hand from her elbow. looking at her, he glances away, and it should be enough for anyone who watches him closely to know he doesn't want to answer her. ]

[ even if the city wasn't built on a foundation of consent, there's no way in hell bellamy would let them kick her out. she has to know that, at least. despite him not fighting so much by a physical means on the ark, he'd attempted to put himself in the debt of shumway in order to have him overlook what'd been discovered on unity day. ]

You've been here before, O. [ he looks back at her, and lets his gaze drop to her arm. his voice remains low. ] And you only left because you wanted to.

[birthed]

[ his words hit her like a brick made of ice. it stuns her for a moment before she blinks at him, her expression contorting into something like disbelief and anger.

how could he say something like that? ]

That can't be true. [ except that bellamy wasn't one to just make something like that up... so she ammends--] I wouldn't have left you here. Not by choice.

[dominance]

I know.

[ he's quick to reassure her, squeezing where he holds her near her elbow. ]

[ sometimes bellamy has wondered if it'd been an easy choice for her to make, but he knows better. it'd been unfair of him to ever think she'd made the choice overnight, impulsively as she used to behave. but it'd always stuck to him like a thorn embedded into his skin that he'd never been enough for octavia to stay. ]

You felt like you needed to go back home. You didn't feel like you belonged here.

[ he understands that more than anything. over the last several months, he's gone through the same motions, thinking he should stay, while believing he's trying to fit a circle within a square. he doesn't hate octavia for doing what she thinks is best, even though he wants her to stay this time. ]

I had to let you go. [ his small smile is forced, as bellamy's never been one to comfort with a warm look. it's always been inspiring words meant to pick the kids up and have them march forward. but bellamy can't give octavia a speech. he plays it off, like being separated isn't an unusual, rare, and even unkind thing for either of them. ] You would've hated me if I forced you to stay.

[birthed]

[ she is not the same octavia, life has been hard for her but it hasn't hardened her yet. she has yet to face the harshest trials and obstacles of her life. the loss of their mother, the hardship of being separated from bellamy and the trauma (yes, trauma and shock and novelty) of being on the ground is still fresh. so this octavia cannot fathom why she'd leave him behind, why she'd think that she didn't belong here when bellamy was here.

why would she leave him?

there had been a divide between them before she got here, one that was growing a little more wide each day but she was still fighting it, even if she resented what he'd done, what he'd said to her. he was still her brother who'd given up everything for her. he's right in thinking that she would hate him for forcing her to do anything she didn't want to do but...]

But you're here.

[dominance]

Yeah.

[ he breathes it out, and lets his hand fall from where he's still holding onto her. ]

[ it'd be easier if bellamy could tell her he'd left shortly after and had arrived a little before her, but he'd stayed. he's not too sure if he should feel ashamed of that choice, or if he should be okay with the fact that he's lingered in this city for god knows how long without her. ]

I hadn't completed my deal when you first left. I figured I'd stick around, meet it, then follow after you.

[ but then she'd appeared again, and bellamy had grown side-tracked from it all. with the fractured relationship between clarke and raven, he felt like he needed to stay. it's not his job to fix anything, but he hadn't felt like he could leave without either of them knowing they had the other to lean on. ]

[ it'd all been a tactic to stall — and hope, the one thing bellamy refuses to let himself do, that octavia would come back. ]

I didn't want to leave just in case this place wasn't full of shit.

[birthed]

[ that isn't what she'd meant. she meant it in that she couldn't understand why she wouldn't feel like she belonged with him. yes, she was worried about lincoln, about a few of the others, her friends but she'd heard the stories of how time stopped back home, how she'd go back and not remember.

why would she leave without bellamy? or were they here so long that she grew impatient to help their friends. she looks at him for a moment longer before she starts moving again, burrow furrowed as she heads aimlessly forward.]

But I came back. And left again. I don't remember any of it.

[dominance]

[ he follows her, a step behind her, but off to the side. he's in her peripherals, where he's always been found. looking at her from the corner of his eye, it's easier to study her body language when she's not blatantly staring at him for answers. ]

[ bellamy shrugs his shoulders in answer. he doesn't know and he doesn't like to think he won't remember being here when he goes home. but it makes sense, sometimes — he wonders if octavia had been given the chance to opt for her memories to be restored, but given how he doesn't remember being here, he can't say it's a process that has any chance of happening. ]

I guess it's meant to protect you. [ that's what he wants to believe, anyway. not remembering is meant to help you move on, cease your fretting. he'd prefer it if octavia didn't know he was back in that city while she was home. ] But you've been here twice. Left a short time after. And now you're back.

[birthed]

I don't... [ she shakes her head, feeling frustrated and lost, a little lonely too.] I don't remember it. [ because why would she have to come back so many times? then the thought that hits her almost makes her laugh, of course. the world they live in is insane. and she wonders how many more times bellamy had been in danger and this place had prevented it and she just didn't remember.]

[dominance]

[ gently, ] It's okay, O. I've been here before, and I don't remember it. It seems to be the norm around here.

[ the last thing he wants is for octavia to berate herself for not remembering what she's incapable of being responsible for. he doubts she had chosen to forget being here the first two times she entered the city and left. he could never blame her for leaving, just as he can't do so for her not remembering. ]

Besides, [ he smiles, shrugging his shoulders. ] we get to do things together again. It's cool.