dominance | ( eudio cuddlr )

[ bellamy's not too sure who he was expecting to be the requester of any sketches drawn to his liking. but it's evident he hadn't been expecting that. ]

[ he looks at her, then glances down. it's almost like the entire sketchbook has a new meaning, even though he can't quite discern what that is just yet. he understands what commissions are — people pay and request for something in particular to be sketched — but he knows clarke isn't paying herself. ]

Why? [ his voice is soft when he looks up at her, expression matching his tone. ]

[clarke just watches him for a few moments as if to determine how he would react and it feels like the longest couple minutes of her life when he responds only to ask her question: why she was drawing him?

it should be a simple answer but it's one that clarke finds herself not too sure about considering it is just something she found herself doing one day without realizing it. her expression softens slightly when she momentarily looks towards him and finally manages to find the words to answer him]

Well you already know that I draw people I'm friends with sometimes— and well, you're important to me so I guess I was feeling inspired.

Edited (oops i missed a word) 2016-12-18 08:38 (UTC)

[ that's not the answer he'd been expecting. it's far from what he had predicted. ]

[ bellamy doesn't look back to the sketchbook, his gaze lingering on her before his eyes drop. she'd once told him he inspired the kids in the camp. it's a moment he's never forgotten, even if he's found it hard to believe in himself. he just never thought that group also included her. ]

You drew a lot, Clarke. [ he understands that this may be slightly uncomfortable for her, and so instead of pressing as he wants to do (but lacks the questions to even go forth), he glances down at the sketchbook before returning his gaze to her. ]

[ brow arching softly, his lips quirk upward when he teases, ] Were you feeling that inspired?

[clarke just looks down, focusing on her sketchbook that he is holding in his hand instead of looking directly at him to force back the slight blush on her cheeks. her words before weren't without a purpose because she clearly remembers what he told her about drawing something that inspires her and naturally the first person she seemed to think of was bellamy. it wasn't that much of a surprise to her when the first painting she did was inspired by his initial request to draw cerberus for him.

the several rough sketches she still had in her sketchbook trying to make her depiction of the three headed dog to be perfect for him so the fact she drew inspiration from that just made sense to her and that she just liked drawing for him too, which was why it was bigger than most of her other sketchbooks. she had initially hesitated when the idea first came to her back then but over the last few months, drawing him has been something she had been doing without realizing it but in a way that was sort of calming for her.]

Yeah, maybe I was feeling that inspired. [she answers a bit quietly before she finally looks towards him, while fully aware that he was teasing her but she tries to push down whatever she is feeling right now] Though I'm sure you can see that for yourself from my sketchbook.

[ he can see it, just as anyone else can see it. bellamy's first thought isn't to think it means anything. his mind doesn't seem to work that way, as he's always looked for the worst in every scenario so he can try and plan to block it. (he's never been exceptional at it, but it's helped in the most recent past to always look at a situation and be a pessimist about it.) ]

[ he looks back down at the sketchbook, and finds that despite himself being the best interrogator of the original hundred, he doesn't have anything to say. he doesn't quite know what he'd like to ask. ]

[ so he closes it and places that sketchbook on the nearest table, and finds that that movement has left him a little vulnerable, since he has nothing to use to draw her attention elsewhere. ]

Do you sell any of them?

[ it's not the question he'd want to ask, but he looks to her, and finds that despite it sounding a little lighter than before, something in his chest feels heavy. ]

[clarke almost expects him to continue with his teasing because from her perspective, her words make the meaning of her sketchbook more obvious but his response only seems to surprise her.

from the drawings she's done so far, the only ones she has sold to people mostly consisted of their specific requests because more often than not she would just gift it to her friends instead of selling it not really expecting anything in return or just draw for herself mostly like she has in the past.

she's still not quite used to the idea of actually selling her work despite how she has been doing it for a while now but as she watches bellamy put down her sketchbook on the table, she just shrugs slightly] The ones in that sketchbook? No, I haven't yet. [she might have said she hadn't yet but in actuality she doesn't plan to sell them at all]

[ he arches his brow. he calls bullshit on that one. instead of saying the words, though, he lets his own disbelief speak for him. ]

Who's going to want to buy a picture of me?

[ hello self-deprecation, my name is bellamy. it's no news to anyone who knows him at all that he has the lowest opinion of himself anyone can find. in this case, it's strange to him to think anyone would want to purchase a picture of him at all. though the sketches are quite good, it's the subject that leads him to believe clarke's full of shit. ]

[ rather than call her out on it, though, he doesn't. not directly, anyway. ]

[clarke isn't surprised by how skeptical he is of her words or even the fact he thinks no one would buy a drawing of him. she hadn't even considered selling it or even the rest of the drawing within that sketchbook so he wasn't wrong to indirectly call bullshit on her answer for that but she doesn't believe for a second that someone wouldn't buy a drawing of him]

You never know— [she shrugs slightly before admitting to what she actually meant] Someone might be interested but I guess I never really thought about selling these. [she knows he hasn't said anything against it but it was mostly because she hadn't exactly asked if she could draw him]

[ and there's his answer. whether bellamy really wants to take it for what it is is another question entirely. ]

If you want to, you should. [ it's not because they're of him. if anyone should know bellamy's far from being egotistical, it's clarke griffin. he can be arrogant and insufferable, obnoxious and incredibly stubborn, but clarke's one of the few who has to know bellamy blake doesn't think of himself too highly, or at all. ] If you need money or want to build yourself as an artist. Whatever people do around here to get people buying from them. You should do it.

[clarke has always been a bit modest about her artwork and while she has been selling her work, it was never for the money even if some people insisted on paying her for it. she knows he isn't necessarily referring to the drawings she has done of him but she isn't surprised by his answer especially since she remembers that he was encouraging her before too. she smile slightly while considering his advice before she manages to find the words to respond] Yeah— you know I've been selling my drawings and do commissions for people by the boardwalk though. Technically I don't need the money but I guess I could look into other ways to showcase my artwork.

[ this is an easier topic of conversation than that of the drawings of him. although it's still in the same ballpark, bellamy feels a little lighter because of it. ]

[ and it shows, as he's more into conversing than before. his posture becomes more comfortable, no longer stiff and attempting to hold back. his brows furrow as he asks with ease, ] Can't you put them in that gallery?

[the slight change in topic is something clarke feels a bit more at ease with too since she is glad his focus isn't on her drawings of him anymore.she had actually thought about putting her art in a gallery awhile ago but that was around the time she thought to start selling them by the boardwalk first to see if she got any interest in her artwork] Oh— yeah, I guess I could.

You know, I was thinking of doing that before but I wanted to see how my artwork would sell at first before I offered up some pieces for the gallery.

[ his brows furrow together. of course, bellamy has no idea how a gallery purchasing artwork actually works, so he possibly surmises incorrectly: she hasn't gone to the art gallery because it won't pay. ] Won't they pay you?

No, that's not it. [clarke steps back from leaning against the couch and while bellamy is trying to figure out why she hasn't gone to the art gallery for her work, without another word she moves over so she can sit beside him before she answers the question] It's like you said, I need to build myself up as an artist first!

How long's that going to take?

[ bellamy throws his arm against the back of the couch, leaning into it comfortably. though the subject of her sketches remains somewhere at the forefront of his mind, it's no longer the topic of conversation. he can rest a little easily for now. ] You started building yourself up a few months ago. Surely you can go into an art gallery and sell a drawing of a circle for a good amount of money by now.

[ he may not know how many things outside of his own interests work, but he's seen some artwork online and in magazines. people pay a lot of money for smudged colours. ]

[technically it had been longer than a few months but he isn't wrong in suggesting that she try again now. she has just been a bit hesitant because the idea of people paying for her artwork is still weird for her, she leans back against the couch too as she looks towards bellamy] I don't know— it's not like there is a specific timeframe for these things.

I think I just found it easier sell it on my own but you're right I could just go to the art gallery and see if they'd want to showcase my artwork for people to buy if they're interested.

Do you want to?

[ there's something about being able to control almost every aspect of something you've put your heart and soul into that bellamy understands, and he thinks he can see it in clarke right now. perhaps her lack of passion to get her art in the gallery branches off from that. ]

[ he doesn't blame her. there's a reason why he hasn't so much as tried to make much of a job out of the things he actually does enjoy. ]

Just because other people do it doesn't mean you have to, Clarke.

Yeah, I know— [for most things she does, she has never been one to just do things just because other people do and that goes for her artwork too even if she feels modest about it more often than not. she shifts slightly and subconsciously finds herself leaning against him] I guess I'm still not used to it despite how long I've been doing it. I do want to eventually though, not just because other people do it.

[ his arm's along the back of the couch still. bellamy doesn't so much as move, nor does he want to acknowledge she's close. the last time he did was down beneath the ground inside of a bunker, where he'd felt a little light-headed because of those berries. (after he got out from the shadows of the bunker and breathed in fresh air.) ]

Did you draw a lot on the Ark?

[clarke realizes only after the fact how close she is next to bellamy but she doesn't move away either as she rests comfortably against him. she looks in thought for a moment as she considers his question and briefly smiles for a moment]

Yeah, I did when I had the supplies for it. Wells was always getting me whatever I could draw with back then, something I later found out he was just trading in his own stuff so I could draw.

I'm pretty sure the last remains what I did draw on the Ark were in my cell when I was in solitary. [the former is something she'd only ever mentioned to finn and as for the latter, bellamy is the first person she finds herself revealing this to but that seems to go for a lot of things she tells him these past several months]

[ that definitely proves he'd read wells' big, loved up gazes right back on the ground. bellamy's observation skills had always gone up against mom's, and she always had something opposing what he had originally concluded. (aurora blake looked at the world through the eyes of a mother; bellamy observed it through the eyes of someone who was forced to grow up a little too quick.) ]

[ he remains where he is, still on the couch, arm along the top of it as he listens. ] Sounds like a good friend. [ even though bellamy knows it had to be something more. but even good friends would trade their own things over to see one of their own happy. bellamy knows he'd do it for clarke in a heartbeat. ]

You should make sure the last art you've drawn isn't on the Ark, but here or at home. Just because we've been in piles of shit ever since we landed on the ground doesn't mean that has to end for you.

Yeah— [wells always had been a good friend to her and though she lost sight of that for a while with realizing that a bit too late, it was something that didn't change either. clarke knows it's something she would do for her friends too though and already has done while being here too.

the smile of her face remains constant as she listens to bellamy and hearing his words she knows he is right. back home she'd only had the chance to draw them maps when it came to putting her artistic ability to use but here she has the chance to so much more and she knows she shouldn't hold herself back either] You're right. I'll make sure it's not the last, it's not going to end for me anytime soon here either.

[ bellamy smiles, and it's not because of what he happens to say next. it's because clarke's going to not let the ground determine who she's going to be for the rest of her life. just because she hadn't been able to use that skill in the way she enjoyed it didn't mean she shouldn't at all. ]

[ he doesn't try to hide his smile, either. ]

Sorry, what did you say? [ playfully: ] I'm … right?

[clarke doesn't move from her position next to him other than settle herself more comfortably against him as she rests her head on shoulder. she rolls her eyes and laughs slightly at his words] Yes, you heard that correctly. Are you going to let that go to your head too? [first with her swiping right on his cuddlr and now this. it's not exactly the first time she had said he was right about something but she wouldn't be surprised if that ends up being the case]

Edited 2017-01-30 07:02 (UTC)

[ his arm drops from being extended along the cushions of the couch to resting along her shoulders. bellamy doesn't think on it, and he doubts clarke does, either. everything is always easier between them when there's no pressure. she hadn't followed up with him after he'd confessed he couldn't go back to camp all those months ago. he hadn't so much as made her speak of finn. there's an understanding between them that he thinks is strong in their own silent agreement on how to handle things, even though it's not particularly healthy. ]

It's too late. It's already there. Never going to forget the day you told me I was right.

( eudio cuddlr )

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