I know.

[ he's quick to reassure her, squeezing where he holds her near her elbow. ]

[ sometimes bellamy has wondered if it'd been an easy choice for her to make, but he knows better. it'd been unfair of him to ever think she'd made the choice overnight, impulsively as she used to behave. but it'd always stuck to him like a thorn embedded into his skin that he'd never been enough for octavia to stay. ]

You felt like you needed to go back home. You didn't feel like you belonged here.

[ he understands that more than anything. over the last several months, he's gone through the same motions, thinking he should stay, while believing he's trying to fit a circle within a square. he doesn't hate octavia for doing what she thinks is best, even though he wants her to stay this time. ]

I had to let you go. [ his small smile is forced, as bellamy's never been one to comfort with a warm look. it's always been inspiring words meant to pick the kids up and have them march forward. but bellamy can't give octavia a speech. he plays it off, like being separated isn't an unusual, rare, and even unkind thing for either of them. ] You would've hated me if I forced you to stay.