[ the thing is: bellamy wants to meet his incentive, but he's been finding himself disliking the idea of cuddling someone for the sake of getting something out of it. before, he would've. the guy who'd dropped down to the ground would've went for this place and had a good time. but bellamy doesn't want to use someone just so he can meet his deal and get home. ]

[ he doubts octavia would like it, either. using someone to get what he wants for her — it's what had happened to mom on the ark, and bellamy had never felt right since understanding he'd been offered a spot on the guard as a cadet because mom made a deal and let someone use her. ]

I'm happy that you're here.

[ he doesn't need anyone else, and maybe that's the problem. placing so much weight on octavia being here — the only person bellamy will ever acknowledge he needs is her. sometimes he's afraid of admitting as much. ]

I don't need to cuddle someone to be happy, O. [ he looks away from her and shifts, leaning forward to grab the remote from the coffee table to switch the movie off and have spongebob playing in the background. ] I've been holding hands with people to get this deal met. The cuddling thing's just weird.